the stalker

jason just walked out the door, he's totally stalking our neighbors. our neighbor dude was out on his porch with a friend, and we were saying goodbye to my mom (thank you very much, for all of your help this week...) so jason stopped to say hi. well, the neighbor dude's friend just so happens to be a friend of some of our really good friends'. so, they are all talking (not watching nick) and i am running into the house for my phone, in case work calls, (because everyone knows how much i love it when they call me and i have to go at a moments notice.) and they ask jason to come back later for a beer. so that's all jason can think about all through putting our son down for the night. he's having a beer, pretending to hang out with me, all the while, waiting....patiently....peering out the window....sending them texts.....listening out the window....just waiting until they come back out on the porch, so he can hang out and have a beer. dude, chill out. if you need to hang with your friends so bad, just say so. don't act so desperate.

oh, i am probably on jason's shit because he made me mad earlier. i am wearing a pair of shorts that i should not wear out in public. i really don't think that anyone who is old enough to read, should be allowed to wear clothing that has writing along the butt...you know what i am talking about, think juicy sweats...or in my case today, a pair of victoria secret shorts from their "pink" line. my shorts are like long cut-off sweats, that say PINK across the butt. i totally only usually wear them to bed or around the house, but today i was super tired, so i wore them out. i felt self conscious all day, but my mom said they looked cute. LESSON: don't ever listen to your mom about cute. mom's ALWAYS think their kid looks cute, no matter what. think about the ugliest person you know, now think about their mom. what does their mom think of their kid? ugly? doubtful. cute? uh-huh.
anyway, i am wearing the shorts with PINK on the ass. and while i am cleaning up dinner. yep, i made dinner, didn't get home until 2 a.m. and nick was up at the crack, but yep, i made dinner...so i am cleaning up dinner, and jason says, "is your butt hungry, cuz it looks like it swallowed the letter " I." ha ha ha ha ha, NOT FUNNY ASSHOLE. normally, on a regular "i got some sleep last night" day, i would have laughed at this comment. tonight? i just got mad. now i can't even stand him. he told me that he was going to chalk up my non-sense-of-humor to lack of sleep, and let me slide. let me slide?? huh? i think you just inadvertently told me i had too much to eat for dinner, and that i am a lazy bitch who needs to work out and not wear such tight pajama pants in public that have writing all over the ass. isn't that what you really wanted to say?! THEN JUST SAY IT. he says, it's my fault for the comment anyway because i am the one who taught him about people's butt's looking like they are hungry. (which, by the way...that's jessica's, she taught me that one in the airport to pass the time...)